Oh, boy. I can hear it already: Why are you going there? Why do I even have to talk to him? I thought it was my choice whether I try to fix us or not? Of course it is. The only way to fully engage in a healthy relationship is with healthy communication. You see, abandoning a relationship while reeling in a state of agony strips you of the organic tools designed to heal it and you. It’s just harder.

So, what’s required for healthy communication? Listening, for one thing. Listening and validation—yes, that means you listening to your husband and letting him know he is heard by you. Listen to learn NOT respond. There is a difference. Yes, all that. And now for your part of the conversation: the honest, non-attacking, non-blaming, vulnerable sharing of it all. Yes, I do realize I put all those words in the very same sentence.

What happens when he comes at you with what smells like an absolutely unfounded, lame accusation? Well, obviously you– stop. Feel the rage. Shake it off. Take a breath. Look him in the eyes. And from the strength that is your truth, let him know you heard him. Nicely. Calmly. This is not self-deprecation, by the way. What he says, thinks or does, does NOT define you. What you say does. So let’s be mindful, shall we? Own your strength.

You can validate someone who’s in pain without feeling diminished. Without having to defend yourself. ‘you know that saying, “Take the high road?” What if you could take a breath and float above the muck? What if you could rise high enough to see two beautiful, aching people struggling to been seen? What would you do for them in that moment? That, lovely, is what comes next. That is what’s yours to do. To say. To become.

May you enjoy your journey and all the fruit it bears. You can, you know. You’re amazing like that. And you’re far from alone.

I’m here to help you engage in healthy communication. Let’s get started today. Make the call!