You’ve finally reached the end of the road. The last test. Trust. So you’re probably thinking, let me get this straight: I’ve painstakingly rebuilt my inner life with notable time, effort and tools, and now you’re telling me to play Jenga? Just trust?!
I get it. The word is far easier to say than to embody in every moment. As much work as you’ve done to remove your past’s claws from your heart, it did occur. It may pop up. Triggers do happen.
The absolute best shot anyone has at successfully rebuilding trust is to first aim that trust at God. It may sound uncomfortable, admitting that your trust in God has been shaken. Or the thought of trusting God may never have even shown up on your radar.
Either way, until you can let go of the belief that you know best, none of what you’ve been through can do anything but burden you. Punish you. Keep you stuck.
By shifting your perspective— by trusting that God knows what’s best for you and chooses it—you can release the pain from the mismatch between what happened and what you thought should have. You can segue into a space where the meaning of an event doesn’t automatically begin and end with how it initially felt.
Empowered by your trust in God, all other things become doable. Including trusting yourself. Your husband, even. But again, the act of trusting isn’t mouthing the word and then playing tennis to win, waiting for him to miss a lob. It’s more like playing for an endless volley.
Measure your words. Easy on the superlatives. Leave out always and never. Breathe before responding. Listen for what your husband is experiencing rather than how he’s erring. Remember you are not a victim. You are an ever-increasingly empowered child of God.
Lean into God. When you don’t understand your husband, ask Him to listen with you. Ask Him to listen for you. He will. He does. By inviting Him in, you benefit. You gain insight from the highest viewpoint. No more slumming in the muck.
Trust is the key to planting your foot firmly in the present. You can’t flourish now while wallowing in the past or dreading the future. Your power is here and now. And its vehicle is trust.
Start deepening your trust in God, and all things become possible. You’ll see. He already does. And He can’t wait to meet you there.
