Are you willing to pay the price?
I coach women who have suffered the pain of infidelity. There are a lot of what I call side effects from this kind of trauma. I created the W.H.O.L.E. Academy for people to learn there is joy on the other side.
I suffered the pain of infidelity over 17 years ago. And healing is not a destination. It’s a continual journey. Setting deadlines or ultimatums is not helpful. It’s less about what he has to do and more about what you need to do. What you need to confront. What you need to own.
Just because six months pass doesn’t mean anything. Doing the work, that means something.
Again, I ask you, are you willing to pay the price?
Sometimes women come and life happens. They stop doing the work. I want people here doing the work. Responding differently. This is how you change your mind.
When I talk about pay, I’m not just talking about money. To get to healing there is a price you have to pay. Sometimes it’s relationships you have to let go of. Do you have any Negative Nancy’s in your corner? No matter what their motives are, they are dead weight to you right now. You cannot afford them. Your work is too hard to carry them along while doing it.
You have the ability to protect your eye-gates and ear-gates. This can be from family, too. I’m not saying you have to have a big showdown to cut them out. I am saying if you have family that always finds the worst thing to say to you, you don’t have to sign up for that regularly.
Then there are the mental and emotional costs. Thoughts pop up. It’s up to you to manage them. How long are you going to let the negative ones torment you? How long are you going to punish yourself by wallowing in misery?
How about the spiritual price? I spent quite a bit of time angry at God personally. How dare He allow this to happen to me, a tither, a churchgoer? Trust me, that was a high cost to me. I was edging God out when I needed Him most. But again with the journey of it all. Even though I was blind to it, I was exactly where I needed to be, experiencing exactly what I needed to, to get me where I am today. Healed, blessed, and in a now flourishing marriage to the very same man.
I had to pay the price. I had to keep moving without knowing.
And finally, it may cost you financially. You may need to pay for courses, counselors, and resources to actually heal. And healing is necessary to move fully forward into your life. For me, it was a counselor. It was tapes by Bishop Jakes, Creflo Dollar, Joyce Meyers. The cheating affected me in a way that caused me to question everything about myself. My looks, my weight, my value, my judgment. I was absolutely dizzy on my own. Completely unable to heal all on my own.
How are you going to uproot the cause of your deepest pain? Disarm the triggers? This takes intention, time. It may cost money, relationships. Why do you say you want to get healed when you are unwilling to pay?
